What to Do If Your Child Gets Lost: A Simple Family Plan

A little boy sits on a park bench, crying. He was feeding the doves, walked a bit closer to the river, and now his mom is gone. He has called her and called her. Nobody answers.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the lake, his mom is searching too, walking from bench to bench. They are both moving, so they keep missing each other.

That’s the story in our book The Lost Boy, and it shows the most important rule in one picture: when you’re lost, stop moving.

In one minute

• Teach one rule first: “If you can’t see me, stay where you are.” A child who stays put is found much faster.
• Teach who the safe helpers are: a police officer, a store worker or guard, a mom or dad with children.
• Your child should know your first and last name and your phone number. Practice until it’s automatic.

What’s going on

When a child realizes they are lost, panic tells them to run and search. It feels right, but it usually makes things worse, because the parent is searching too. Two moving people miss each other again and again.

Children also don’t know who to ask. “Don’t talk to strangers” can make a lost child afraid to ask anyone at all. That’s why it helps to give them a short, specific list of helpers instead.

Try today

1. Teach “Be a tree.” If you can’t see your grown-up, plant your feet like a tree and stay right there. Say it, then practice in your living room: you “disappear” behind a door, and your child stays put until you come back.
2. Name the helpers. A police officer. A person working at the store or the park (look for the uniform or name tag). A mom or dad with kids. Point them out next time you’re out: “See her name tag? She works here. She’s a helper.”
3. Teach your phone number in five days. Turn it into a song or a rhythm. Practice once a day, in the car or at bath time. For little ones, also write your number on their arm or on a wristband before busy outings.

What to say

Before a trip to a busy place:

“If you can’t see me, be a tree and stay right where you are. I will come back to find you. If you need help, ask a worker or a mom with kids.”

What your child can say to a helper:

“I’m lost. My mom’s name is Anna Smith. Her phone number is…”

What to avoid

• Only saying “Don’t get lost!” It isn’t a plan. Children need to know what to do, not just what to avoid.
• Getting angry when you find them. Hug first. A child who expects trouble may hide or keep running next time.
• Teaching just once. Practice the plan before each big outing, the way you’d check the car before a long drive.

When to get help

If you can’t find your child within a minute or two in a store or public place, tell staff right away and ask them to alert security. Many stores and parks have a procedure for missing children. In a crowded open place, call the police without waiting. It’s always better to raise the alarm early.

Read together

In The Lost Boy, Whyia finds the crying boy and tells him to stay on the bench so his mom can find him. Then she turns into a car and looks for help. A police car gives her the full list: ask a police officer, or ask an adult to call the police, or find a guard or a worker in a shop, or a woman with children. In the end, the boy’s mom finds him because he stayed in one place and kept calling.

After reading, play “Be a tree” together, and let your child list the helpers from the story. Then ask: “And what’s our phone number?”